The Future.

Ever since the age of fifteen, I have seriously been thinking about what I want to do with my life. Lately, I have been having this deep feeling of devoting my life to God and start a charity organization, helping as many people as I can. I have even pondered at the thought of becoming a nun, but I choose not to, because I have decided to stay Christian and not to revert to Catholicism.

One summer ago, I had thought about being a housewife. To me being a mother seems wonderful and such a beautiful experience. I think that devoting your time, planting your love into one tiny little being and then watching them grow to become something wonderful is just incredible.
I'd have a husband that works and provides as a man should and I would devote my time into him as well.

But over the following months, I have thought about it and I thought; why do that? Why settle for that when I could do much more and be much more? I want to help people, and I feel as if that is a calling. As much I would like to be an author, singer, actress; I still feel the need to do something greater. In my earlier posts, I had mentioned that I wanted to shine a light upon the world, and this is one way I could do that.

Although this SEEMS like a lovely plan, the trouble is: what am I supposed to do after highschool!
What if this charity plan does not work out? Then what else could I do? I cannot do ANYTHING because I am SO WEAK both physically/emotionally. I'm guessing as a teenager, this is what happens.
You have the next 25 yrs planned out, but you don't have TOMORROW or even TODAY figured out.
I am 16 and in the 10th grade with only two yrs left in school. By next yr I must start applying for colleges and etc.

Maybe I'll get it all figured out.
Maybe I'll take a year off and save up money.
Or maybe it will all go according to plan.
Who knows, only God knows and time will tell.