Saturday, April 26, 2014

The Future.

Ever since the age of fifteen, I have seriously been thinking about what I want to do with my life. Lately, I have been having this deep feeling of devoting my life to God and start a charity organization, helping as many people as I can. I have even pondered at the thought of becoming a nun, but I choose not to, because I have decided to stay Christian and not to revert to Catholicism.

One summer ago, I had thought about being a housewife. To me being a mother seems wonderful and such a beautiful experience. I think that devoting your time, planting your love into one tiny little being and then watching them grow to become something wonderful is just incredible.
I'd have a husband that works and provides as a man should and I would devote my time into him as well.

But over the following months, I have thought about it and I thought; why do that? Why settle for that when I could do much more and be much more? I want to help people, and I feel as if that is a calling. As much I would like to be an author, singer, actress; I still feel the need to do something greater. In my earlier posts, I had mentioned that I wanted to shine a light upon the world, and this is one way I could do that.

Although this SEEMS like a lovely plan, the trouble is: what am I supposed to do after highschool!
What if this charity plan does not work out? Then what else could I do? I cannot do ANYTHING because I am SO WEAK both physically/emotionally. I'm guessing as a teenager, this is what happens.
You have the next 25 yrs planned out, but you don't have TOMORROW or even TODAY figured out.
I am 16 and in the 10th grade with only two yrs left in school. By next yr I must start applying for colleges and etc.

Maybe I'll get it all figured out.
Maybe I'll take a year off and save up money.
Or maybe it will all go according to plan.
Who knows, only God knows and time will tell.


Announcement: Sorry.

Hello, my little darklings!                      

I just wanted to let you all know that I have just been very busy over the past view months that I have been stressed out and I just didn't have the motivation to start posting on my blog.

But good news, everyone, I am going find my motivation again, and then I'll start posting some more stuff for you all. I am sorry to you all, those who enjoyed reading my poor little blog for disappointing you all.


All right then! You see soon....hopefully.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Lies and Lullabies


Lies and Lullabies *Inspired by Just Desserts by MATD
I was in the dark                         
You were the blinding light
You filled my heart
I couldn’t resist yet I tried to fight
But you were a lullaby
And I fell and listened to every word until I was blind
You WERE the answer
That I had always been trying to find
I gave you a little too much
Perhaps it was a little too much to touch
It was bitter, yet sweet
I spent my days and nights chasing a dream    
I was chasing nothing but lies
Though I could not, would not break free
They glittered like gold
They were so promising with glee
I was chasing nothing but stars
A dream, nothing was what it seemed
was chasing the stars
And sugar coated lies
I was chasing the stars
And “soothing” lullabies.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

The Feminine Archetype#2: The Waif


                                               Hello! 
I will be discussing *briefly* of the feminine archetypes found in history over and over all throughout history. What first got me interested in archetypes? While I may not be exactly sure, I have two or three huge reasons on how I got started; one was from a blog that I've joined a blog  few months ago called "The Proper Lady", ( and I recommend all young women/girls to read this blog.) and one of my favorite artists Marina and the Diamonds album "Electra Heart" and some of the works of Carl Jung; from this did I gather my information on feminine archetypes, mixed with some of my philosophical beliefs of course. After doing research and pondering on countless combinations,  Second is the waif! Well, I hope you enjoy!



                    
                                               The Waif  

The waif is the "innocent" girl. She is naive, she is vulnerable, pure, insecure, weak; however, she has will. This is the type of woman whom is often thrown into difficult situations and she usually breaks through with faith. For example think of Jane Eyre from Charlotte Bronte's novel.  She isn't very much of a fighter; she has people walk over and treat her  any sort of way but when it gets to be too much, she does speak up, even though she gets pushed back down, kind of like Jane Eyre. Every time she gets knocked down, she picks herself back up by gathering up her faith; she has inner strength, which takes most people by surprise. She KNOWS her inner strength, but it's a struggle for her because she cannot balance herself between being TOO masculine or TOO soft. The waif waits for rescuing, however she IS NOT the damsel in distress.


The Waif and Vulnerability 

The main thing about the waif is vulnerability, besides innocence. This is the key trait that I think both male and female can and should have. Sadly, vulnerability is often associated with negative things, such as weak and powerless, and although that can be true, that's not JUST what vulnerability means. There are two types of vulnerability: physical and emotional. Physical vulnerability probably isn't good, considering the fact that  that could get you killed or something. But I am mostly talking about is EMOTIONAL vulnerability. You see, everyone sees it as bad thing but it is not. Being emotional vulnerable means that you are suspectiable to emotional damage, but at the same time it means letting people and the environment around you influence you, it is showing your soft side to loved ones, and I see nothing wrong with that.

NEGATIVE *damsel in distress* 

This is the woman who SOLELY depends on the man to save her, she cannot defend herself, she is physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually weak. She does not believe in herself and always depend on the man to make decisions for her. At first, this COULD be somewhat appealing to the masculine man because it makes him feel important, but eventually it becomes very tiresome (seriously, learn how to survive on your own) and he leaves her. She is also the woman who believes she is nothing without her love, because she, like the waif, believes her whole purpose in life is to serve other and her man, but never do anything for herself.

Waif Archetype Colors: Pale pink, white, blue, grey, silver.

Examples: Persephone, Astraea, Hestia, Jane Eyre

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

*ATTENTION*

I have come to notice that some of the picture that I have posted on my article on modesty has deleted photos, in the near future, I will be making some corrections.

Have a nice day and remember to breathe!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Aura Color#1: Blue



What it represents:
Sprituality, loyal, creative, sensitive, kind, moody, gentleness, depression, sluggish, relaxed.

Today my aura happens to be blue, and unfortunately, not because I'm relaxed.
I'm moody and depressed. Lately, I have been dealing with bouts of depression *again* and it's really been bringing me down. Not only that, but I have low self-esteem and yes, I truely loathe myself.
But after I got home from school, I've been thinking: I REALLY need to find my place with God and calm the hell down. Also, I need to discover myself. I know it's cliche and all teen-angsty, but I've ALWAYS been trying to be someone else.
I've always had this desire to be normal, to be perfect like so many other ladies I know. For example, a friend of mine, I'll just use Ella, who is everything I STRIVE to be:
-Intelligent
-Kind
-Classy
-Talented to no end to the point it's scary.

I'm not. I'm all.......yeah. Not any where near what my friend Ella is. But any how, I've finally came to realize that I can't BE another person and the best that I can do is just improve myself. And OH man it is HARD, but I'm slowly learning. Obviously no one is perfect, but I'd like to be damn near it.

Thank you for sitting patiently with my little rant, and gooday. Or night, whichever! :)

Feminine Archetype#1: The Nuturing Mother

Hello!

I will be discussing *briefly* of the feminine archetypes found in history over and over all throughout history. What first got me interested in archetypes? While I may not be exactly sure, I have two or three huge reasons on how I got started; one was from a blog that I've joined a blog  few months ago called "The Proper Lady", ( and I recommend all young women/girls to read this blog.) and one of my favorite artists Marina and the Diamonds album "Electra Heart" and some of the works of Carl Jung; from this did I gather my information on feminine archetypes, mixed with some of my philosophical beliefs of course. After doing research and pondering on countless combinations I have come up with thirteen.
First up, The Nuturing Mother.

 The Mother archetype plays a highly significant role in society, whether she be a biological mother or not. In each and every women, there is nuturing, protective and caring side; the equivalent of the Father archetype.


Although, the father is protective and strong as the mother, the Mother has a special bond between her family, friends and children that some Fathers may not have; a nuturing soul. The Mother always knows and says the right things. Her words are to be soothing and healing to the wounds, to be soft. She is wise, she only speaks honesty and kindness towards others; thought she may be truthful, she is never to be harsh.
"The Mother aspect  acknowledges and empowers through nurturing, preserving, taking care by providing safety and security. Great Mother’s transcendent function in the Mystery is the fruit of union." -LightWorkers.org
NEGATIVE 
The shadow aspect of the the Mother is the  cruel and devouring mother.
She is the complete oppisite side to the Nuturing mother, who brings hope and is gentle towards loved ones, the devouring mother does not uplift, she does not inspire, she does not encourage others: she only tears people down and she gains pleasure from it, even if it’s her own blood.
Archetype Colors: Burgundy, White and blue.
Goddess Archetype: Hestia, Demeter, Gaia, Shakti.

Thank you for visiting! :)